My immortal: south park edition
by Aura Laths
Summary: Ever wonder what South park would be with a my immortal twist? Well you're about to find out. Follow Craig as he battles against Preps, love, and everything else.
1. Chapter 1

Hello this is a parody of the infamous Harry Potter fanfiction My immortal. We are keeping all spelling mistakes found in the original story. As also we don't own Southpark, Harry Potter, or my immortal. Please enjoy.

 **chapter 1**

 **Hi my name Peruvian god of guinea pigs and I seriously love guinea pigs( it how I got my name). I have short back hair with red streaks in it and icy blue eyes. People tell me I look like red racer (a.n if you don't know who that is get the hell out) I not related to red racer but I wish I was, he's a major fucking hottie.I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I'm also a wizard and I go to a magic school called Mr. hankeys school for witch craft and wizardry in South park where I'm in the seventh grade ( I'm seventeen). I'm a goth( in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly blue. I love blue jackets and I have like fifty of them. For example today I was wearing a blue jacket and and a blue hat. My pants where a dark blue, so dark that it looked black. I was also wear blue sneakers.i was walking outside the school. It was raining and snowing so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. Cartman was staring at me. I put up my middle finger at him.**

 **"Hey Craig!" Shouted a voice.**

 **I looked up. It was... Tweek tweak!**

 **"Whats up tweek?" I asked**

 **"Nothing" he said shyly**

 **But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away**


	2. Chapter 2

Friendly reminder that if you haven't read My immortal you totally should

 **Chapter 2**

 **The next day I woke up inside my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door to my coffin and watched some episodes of red racer. My coffin was a dark blue and inside it was a pale yellow with green lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took off my giant guinea pig T-shirt which I use for pajamas. Instead I put on a blue leather shirt,booty shorts, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hat on.**

 **My friend, Clyde woke up then and grinned at me. He flipped his short brown hair with pink streaks and open his earthly brown eyes. He put on his down with cis shirt, red shorts, fishnets and pointy heeled boots.**

 **"Omfg, I saw you talking to Tweek Tweak yesterday!" He said excitedly**

 **"Yeah? So?" I said blushing.**

 **"Do you like Tweek?" He asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the great hall."No I so fucking don't!" I shouted**

 **"Yeah right!" He exclaimed. Just then, Tweek walked up to me.**

 **"Hi" he said**

 **"Hi" I said flirtily.**

 **"Guess what." He said**

 **"What?" I asked.**

 **Guess what." he said.**

 **"What?" I asked.**

 **"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.**

 **"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.**

 **"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.**

 **I gasped**


	3. Chapter 3

what are outfits even, why is it so hard to make them.

 **Chapter 3**

 **On the night of the concert I put on my blue lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather shirt with all this corset stuff on the back and front and ripped jeans. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails.I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.I went outside. Tweek was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a coffee stained t-shirt, baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).**

 **"Hi Tweek!" I said in a depressed voice.**

 **"Hi Craig." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.**

 **"You come in cold, you're covered in blood**

 **They're all so happy you've arrived**

 **The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom**

 **She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).**

 **"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Tweek, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.**

 **Suddenly Tweek looked sad.**

 **"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.**

 **"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.**

 **"Really?" asked Tweek sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.**

 **"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.**

 **The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Tweek. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Tweek and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Tweek didn't go back into Hankeys, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!**


	4. Chapter 4

In this chapter there is a sex scene(if you can even call it that).

 **Chapter 4**

 **"TWEEK!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"**

 **Tweek didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.**

 **"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.**

 **"Craig?" he asked.**

 **"What?" I snapped.**

 **Tweek leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.**

 **And then… suddenly just as I Tweek kissed me passionately. Tweek climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.**

 **Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….**

 **"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"**

 **It was….PC principal!**


	5. Chapter 5

You guys can pretend that you'll not reading this all you want, but we know you are and it okay. We don't judge, I mean we're the the ones writing it. One of us had to read my immortal twice so we could plan out the characters.

 **Chapter 5**

 **PC principal made and Tweek and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.**

 **"You ludacris fools! Not once did i hear any affirmative consent!" He shouted.**

 **I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face. Tweek comforted me. When we went back to the castle PC principal took us to Professor Garrison and Professor Mackey who were both looking very angry.**

 **"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.**

 **"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces, Mm'kay?" asked Professor Mackey.**

 **"How dare you?" demanded Professor Garrison.**

 **And then Tweek shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!"**

 **Everyone was quiet. PC principal and Professor Mackey still looked mad but Professor Garrison said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."Tweek and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.**

 **"Are you okay, Craig?" Tweek asked me gently.**

 **"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the boys dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black t-shirt with red lace all around it and black combat boots. When I came out….**

 **Tweek was standing in front of the bathroom holding a Thermos full of coffee, and he started to sing the red racer theme song. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.**


	6. Chapter 6

To answer the question are we planning on doing all 44 chapters of My immortal? Yes. Yes we are. So just sit back and relax.

 **Chapter 6**

 **The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on a black pants that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple. I made sure to give my guinea pig stripes a pat on the head for being absolutely adorable.**

 **In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.**

 **"Bastard!" I shouted angrily, immediately flipping off whoever had bumped into me. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with Blue streaks in it. He had on a blue hat with red lining and a red puff ball on top. He was wearing so much eyeliner that it looked like he was crying and he was wearing black was wearing red contact lenses just like Tweek's. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a fake sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection.**

 **"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.**

 **"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.**

 **"My name's Stanley Marsh, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.**

 **"Why?" I exclaimed."Also I'm not calling you that because thats the stupidest nickname ever." I flipped him off just because I could.**

 **"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.**

 **"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.**

 **"Really?" he whimpered.**

 **"Yeah." I roared.**

 **We sat down to talk for a while. Then Tweek came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.**


	7. Chapter 7

Just letting you know we are keeping all of Tara's(the original author of my immortal) little authors notes. Also some nsfw content I guess but not really

 **Chapter 7**

 **Tweek and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Stan. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Tweek. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Tweek. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…**

 **We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in my who-know-what and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)**

 **"Oh Tweek, Tweek!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Tweek's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Stan!**

 **I was so angry.**

 **"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.**

 **"No! No! But you don't understand!" Tweek pleaded. But I knew too much.**

 **"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"**

 **I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Tweek ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Stan's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Garrison and some other people.**

 **"STAN MARSH, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.**


	8. Chapter 8

Do know my immortal was never completed, isn't that a shame

 **Chapter 8**

 **Everyone in the class stared at me and then Tweek came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.**

 **"Craig, it's not what you think!" Tweek screamed sadly while twitching.**

 **My friend Wendy smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on. Wendy was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Mysterion killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.(Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )**

 **"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Garrison demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.**

 **"Stan, I can't believe you cheated on me with Tweek!" I shouted at him.**

 **Everyone gasped.**

 **Tweek's p.o.v**

 **I don't know why Craig was so mad at me. I had went out with Stan (I'm bi and so is Craig) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Bebe, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.) Besides cheating would be way to much pressure.**

 **Craig p.o.v**

 **"But I'm not going out with Tweek anymore!" said Stan.**

 **"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Tweek and then I started to bust into tears**


	9. Chapter 9

We appreciate the reviews. They were surprisingly all very nice, thanks.

 **Chapter 9**

 **I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Tweek for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Tweek.**

 **Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes wearing a hood with a question mark on it started flying towards me on a broomstick!he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Mysterion!**

 **"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Mysterion shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.**

 **"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Mysterion fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.**

 **"Craig." he yelled. "Thou must kill Stan Marsh!"**

 **I thought about Stan and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Tweek had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Tweek went out with Stan before I went out with him and they broke up?**

 **"No, Mysterion!" I shouted back.**

 **Mysterion gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.**

 **"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Tweek!"**

 **"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.**

 **Mysterion got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Stan, then thou know what will happen to Tweek!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.**

 **I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Tweek came into the woods.**

 **"Tweek!" I said. "Hi!"**

 **"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.**

 **"Are you okay?" I asked.**

 **"No." he answered.**

 **"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.**

 **"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out**.


	10. Chapter 10

Personally this is my favorite chapter. Tara, the original author, first says that vampires can't die by slitting their wrists and and not even two paragraphs later a character who is a vampire dies by slitting their wrists? Like tara make up your mind girl. There are mentions of self harm in this chapter. Again all spelling mistakes are there for a reason.

 **Chapter 20**

 **I was really scared about Mysterion all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Red Guinea 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are Wendy, Stan, Tweek, Kyle (although we call him Jewboy now. He has red curly hair with purple streaks in it.) and Chef. Only today Tweek and Stan were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Tweek was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that) or a steak) and Stan was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my six pack and tiny matching shorts that said red racer on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.**

 **We were singing a cover of 'Spaceman' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.**

 **"Craig! Are you OK?" Wendy asked in a concerted voice.**

 **"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Well, Mysterion came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Stan! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Tweek. But if I don't kill Stan, then Mysterion, will fucking kill Tweek!" I burst into tears.**

 **Suddenly Tweek jumped out from behind a wall.**

 **"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking underwear gnome loving prep!" (c is dat out of character?)**

 **I started to cry and cry. Tweek started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.**

 **We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Pc principal walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.**

 **"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Craig, Tweek has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."**


	11. Chapter 11

Yea so we don't know what's even happening in this chapter so yea. Anyway mentions of self harm. And people die but not really. We appreciate all reviews and our glad you guys are enjoying the story.

 **Chapter 11**

 **"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! Wendy tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. PC principal chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.**

 **Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a spaceman song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black shirt with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Garrison was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Randy was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.**

 **"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Stan ran in.**

 **"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Garrison and Randy pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Garrison and Randy a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, PC principal ran in. "Craig, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Garrison and Randy and then he waved his wand and suddenly…**

 **Chef ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.**

 **"What do you know, Chef? You're just a little student!"**

 **"I MAY BE A HANKEYS STUDENT…." chef paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"**

 **"This cannot be." Garrison said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where PC principal wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."**

 **"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.**

 **Randy held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"**

 **I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.**

 **"Why are you doing this?" Randy said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.**

 **And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.**

 **"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Chef said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.**

 **"Because you're goffic?" Garrison asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.**

 **"Because I LOVE HIM!"**


	12. Chapter 12

We have no idea what's happening and we've read this chapter twice. Self harm warning.

 **Chapter 12**

 **I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Tweek had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.**

 **"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS CHef but it was Stan. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.**

 **I stopped. "How did u know?"**

 **"I saw it! And my scar that Mysterion gave me returned!"**

 **"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.**

 **"I do but Kyle changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Tweek…. Mysterion has him bondage!"**

 **Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Garrison and Randy and Chef were there too. They were going to Hell's pass after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot boys. PC principal had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.**

 **Anyway chef came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.**

 **"Craig I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.**

 **"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Chef had been mean to me before for being gottik.**

 **"No Craig." Chef says. "Those are not roses."**

 **"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.**

 **"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Garrison and Randy." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.**

 **"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.**

 **He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .**

 **"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.**

 **"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"**

 **And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.**

 **"OK I believe you now wtf is Tweek?"**

 **Chef rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.**

 **"U c, Craig," PC principal said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?"**

 **"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" CHEF yelled. PC principal lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.**

 **Chef stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, PC principal!"**

 **Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather shirt that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on blue shorts and black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Neil Armstrong on them. I spiked my hair and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.**

 **"You look kawai, Boi." Wendy said sadly.**

 **"Fangs (geddit) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Garrison and Randy couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Stan was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Tweek. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.**

 **"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.**

 **We both looked at each other for some time. Stan had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Tweek s. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.**

 **"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor Mackey who was watching us and so was everyone else.**

 **"Stan you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Tweek!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.**

 **Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.**

 **"NO!" I ran up closer.**

 **"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.**

 **"I do but Kyle changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Tweek….Mysterion has him bondage!"**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 **Stan and I ran up the stairs looking for PC principal. We were so scared.**

 **"PC PRINCIPAL !" we both yelled. PC principal came there.**

 **"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.**

 **"Mysterion has Tweek!" we shouted at the same time.**

 **He laughed in an evil voice. His sunglasses gleamed menacingly.**

 **"No! Don't! We need to save Tweek!" we begged.**

 **"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Mysterion does to Tweek. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Craig." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Stan started crying. "My Tweek!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)**

 **"Its okay!" I tried to tell him even though I was annoyed that he called Tweek his. but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.**

 **"What?" I asked him.**

 **"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Mysterion's lair!**

 **We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!"**

 **It was….. Mysterion!**


	14. Chapter 14

Well we have about 30 more chapters to go after this one. Who knows if we'll make it out alive.

 **Chapter 14**

 **WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.**

 **We ran to where Mysterion was. It turned out that Mysterion wasn't there. Instead the goth kid who killed Pip was. Tweek was there crying tears of blood. Michael was torturing him. Stan and I ran in front of Michael.**

 **"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)**

 **"Huh?" I asked.**

 **"Craig I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Michael. I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.**

 **"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.**

 **"Michael what art thou doing?" called Mysterion. Then… he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hankeys. We went to my room. Stan went away. There I started crying.**

 **"What's wrong honey?" asked Tweek taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.**

 **"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other boys and preps here except for you Tweek, because your not ugly or anything."**

 **"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts." answered Tweek.**

 **"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Garrison and Randy took a video of me naked. Chef says he's in love with me. Stan likes me and now even Michael is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Tweek! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

 **Craig Craig!" shouted Tweek sadly. "No, please, come back!"**

 **But I was too mad.**

 **"Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Stan!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Red racer on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Tweek and Stan. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my guinea pig themed watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.**

 **I put on a short ripped black gothic shiry that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Tweek!**

 **"Craig I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most Handsome boi in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!." Then…. he started to sing "your my Craig and I'm your Tweek " (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when the whole town of south park was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .**

 **"OMFG." I said after he was finished. Cartman and his gang stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Tweek's now) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Randy shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.**


End file.
